If your cat kept a video diary, would he list his grievances against you and humanity?

Have you ever found yourself wondering what your cat is thinking?

Sure, we’d like to believe our cats are thinking about us, as ub, “Man, what would I do without my wonderful human friend? I love her so much.” But the truth is the cat is probably thinking, “When is that lazy two-legger gonna wake up and feed me? Why do they close the bathroom door when they go in there? I bet they’re planning a surprise party for me because I’m the best. In fact, I’m gonna scratch and howl at the door to make sure they know my favorite cake flavor. Man, I’m awesome.”

This video proves our point. Thanks to the new YouTube Animal Translator feature (which doesn’t really exist, in case you were wondering that also), we are now privy to the thoughts of cats. And it’s not what we were hoping for.

Turns out that cats find much of the world we’ve created for them to be very confusing, and while it is with good intentions that we fill their dishes with water to drink from (so they don’t, you know, die), they find it utterly and irritatingly perplexing. They find everything we do profoundly and intolerably perplexing.