I can’t resist: i kiss my cats’ toes when their legs dangle

Oh, the irresistible kitty leg-dangle. My Phoebe is the master of it. I think she purposely drapes those little toesies over the edge just to make me crazy. She is aware that I’m a slave to the dangle and, as soon as I sense one is afoot, I’m all over it. She also knows she may kick at me and perhaps swat my head if I attempt to make physical contact with the dangle. Do you think that stops me? You’re kidding, right? I’ve gone in for belly smooches and comprehensive abdominal huffing, even when I know my corneas are at risk of getting slashed, Freddy Krueger-style.

There are different positions of the dangle — and of course, several dangle-angles. I’m a devotee of all of them; however, I particularly enjoy the extended pose. That’s the one in which the leg is draped so extensively that the cat’s balance is somewhat compromised. One additional stretch may send her rolling backward off the perch. This rarely happens because cats have masterful balance and control. This, however, makes it all the more amusing when they do lose stability. Does that sound mean? Don’t lie — you laugh, too. And of course they emerge fully composed and full of flat-out lies: “What? I completely meant to do that. And by the way, yes — you are mean.”

Another reason why I’m tickled by the dangle is because I have a sweet view of Phoebe’s delectable coffee-bean paw pads. Call me weird, but I could stare at those paw pads all day long. I love to tickle them while she’s sleeping. I rub my index finger between her toes until they spread apart. A dangling foot with fanned toes? Forget about it! I’m total mush. I monkey around with her feet for several minutes … or at least until she becomes so annoyed that she rabbit-kicks my hand off. What? She bugs me when I’m sleeping!

Sometimes I’m also treated to a tail-dangle. It’s cute, but not nearly as mind-blowing as the leg. Why is that? Cat toes are the bomb. Occasionally other cats will try and bat at the dangling foot or tail. This never ends well. We’re left with two angry cats and no dangle. Are there really any winners in this scenario? I think not.

I wish there were a way I could require Phoebe to sleep dangle-style whenever she took to snoozing. Did I just use “cats” and “require” in the same sentence? I think I’ve been rabbit-kicked in the head one time too many. And “dangle-style” sounds way too close to “Gangnam Style,” which now is my unwelcome earworm. What if we pretended like Gangnam Style never happened and instead got behind a pop-culture craze surrounding the whole feline leg-dangle phenomenon? Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. Who’s with me?

Since kitty leg-dangles are so adorable, I wondered if perhaps my husband might find me extra attractive if I started lying around with a leg hanging off the edge of the sofa. Hell, I’d even spread my toes if he tickled my feet.

Nah, I think I look more like I’ve had a little too much wine. The whole scene is definitely less cute and slightly tragic. Once again, cats reign superior over humans. Color me surprised.

Does your cat tease you with an adorable leg-dangle that you can’t resist? Tell us about it in the comments!

About the Author: Angie Bailey is a goofy girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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